Thursday, October 1, 2015

Avani's dose of the day!! Statue game

Avani loves playing small games all the time. Most of the times, to get something done from her, we have to take the help of SIMON (SIMON from SIMON SAYS GAME). In the process of keeping her grounded at one place sometimes, I take the help of the game STATUE.
And she is smart enough to grasp the purpose of the same and use it against us at the most crucial times. Especially, when we start feeding her food she will put us on an infinite statue mode. So one such incident was as below

Avani: Mummy, statue!
Mummy: (Statue state, couldn't move or speak but tried to show my discontent by widening eyes)
Avani: Mummy, you moved!
Mummy: (Still a statue)
Avani: You moved your eyes, so you are out.
Mummy: Moving eyes is allowed. I am not out.
Avani: Mommy, have you ever seen a statue moving his eyes? Statues don't move their eyes, so you are OUT

Yes, I know I was weak on my logic. But then it was a game and she is just 3 years.

Avani's dose of the day!! Project PET

Avani woke up in the middle of night and shifted from her baby cot to my bed stating that there is a CAT in her cot. I tried to pacify her. But she was quite insistent that there is a cat there and she snuggled with me in my bed.
As a usual parenting practice, I tried to discuss with her regarding last nights incident.

Mummy: Avani, Why were you scared last night? There was no cat on your cot.
Avani: Yes Mummy I dreamt that a cat is sitting on my cot and so I got scared
Mummy: That's Ok. But what is there to be scared of a cat? Cat is a pet animal, they don't harm you! Do you want to pet a cat?
Avani: No Mumma, I don't like cats. I will have a pet dog rather. A small, PINK dog
Mummy: PINK dog? But there are no pink dogs. And where will you keep him?
Avani: Oh, then we will get a PEACH color dog. If not, then white. And we will make a dog house and keep in the balcony!
Mummy: (Ok, this is getting serious. I need to bring her to the reality now!) Avani, If you are keeping a pet you have to take care of all its needs! Feeding, cleaning, susu-potty, bathing etc etc. I do not have the bandwidth to do all this! Would you be able to do all this?
Avani: Feeding? But we don't have dog food! What does a dog eat? And we just have a toy bone, we need a real bone for the dog.
Mummy: Ok, we will buy it from a dog shop.
Avani: Yes! Then we will need to buy a dog soap, dog food, dog toys, dog cleaner and all the other things. But (after some thought) where will we keep dog bathtub? Which are the toys, dogs play with?
Mummy: We do not have place to keep a bath tub.
Avani: Mummy, we will keep the bathtub in kids bathroom. You don't worry about it! So lets go to the pet shop and buy a dog now!
Mummy: (A little scared) OK!! The shop is closed now, we will do it over the weekend!  Will call the pet shop owner and check.

Mummy thought, it was a casual discussion. It would be over by evening. But as soon as I returned from office, I am welcomed with a question

Avani: Mummy, Did you check with the pet shop owner? Is it open now? Shall we go?
The project PET was completed till its requirement and design phase very meticulously. Now I am afraid about the implementation phase. I cannot afford another baby in my house! Any suggestions on "How I can scrap the project?"

Saturday, September 26, 2015

Khushi's dose of the day!! Papa's birthday gifts

Mummy: Hey Khushi, what are we gifting Papa this birthday? He is turning 38, so as per the rule we have to gift him 38 gifts! Its going to be a tough job, so start thinking!
Khushi: Mom don't worry so much! We can do it!
Papa: Oh nice, so tell me what gifts you have planned for me?
Khushi: (quietly) Mom, its his 38 so we can gift him 3 and 8 gifts. SIMPLE!!

We couldn't stop laughing and Papa didn't know how to react to this proposal! He didnt have a smarter answer to his intellegient girl's witty shortcut.

Khushi's dose of the day!! Eid Mubarak

Khushi was staring at a doll set in the shop right infront of our car while we were waiting for our breakfast to be packed and brought. It was Eid holiday and we were heading towards Banergatta National Park for the animal safari.

Khushi: Mommy, Can you buy me that doll set? See it has all the FROZEN characters and you know how much I like Frozen!
Mummy: Whats the occasion?
Khushi: You can take it for my birthday.
Mummy: But thats in April. So long way for that.
Khushi: Ok. But today is EID, so you can gift me today as well!
Mummy: Oh, so you want EIDI from me?

All occasions are great to receive a gift indeed!! 

Wednesday, June 17, 2015


"Dipti aunty, how can you drive?" asked a very innocent voice. Smilingly I replied,"Because I have learnt to drive and practiced it!".
A very sweet charming little girl keeps greeting me every time I enter my building. Our mutual affection for each other has been fore granted for many years now. 
But little did I know that life is going to be so unfair to her. At the age of 10 years, that little doll is suffering from a mountain of pain. And the more heartening thing is the way that brave soul is taking things at her stride. Being little and ignorant is after all not that bad sometimes. 
Today is her birthday and I couldn't help myself of dedicating these few lines to her. I can never put myself in her shoes and write what she must be thinking, but its my humble effort to pen a few words on her behalf. In fact, this is my selfish effort of penning down what I think she must be going through. 
"I see the winds blowing and the curtains swaying to its rhythm. 
I am 10 years and I can only watch the might of the almighty! 
I feel luckier today to be little, to be ignorant about life.

Knowledge brings anticipation along and you die more deaths everyday for the same fate.
The pain is unbearable and the process very overwhelming for my little soul.
But there is no past and future in childhood, so I feel luckier to be little TODAY

I can see the sadness in my mothers eyes and the helplessness in my fathers voice.
But I am happy that they are always with me, taking special care of me.

I miss going to school, playing with my friends and learning new things everyday.
But they say, I cannot go out much. I might get unwell. I wonder how much more unwell I can get?

I have started loosing my hair, but my mom says, I still look beautiful.
My friends do not treat me differently, I think I am lucky I am little.

Today is my birthday, I have turned 10
I have not lost my enthusiasm. I am excited about my new birthday dress and the cake. 
I am still going to be eager to open all my gifts and start using that new bag in school. Though I don't know when I will start going to school again.

I hear people saying that life is very uncertain. But as a kid, I do not look for certainty. I enjoy every moment and accept  it as it comes. 
I am going to be big soon and loose all the spunk I have. People are going to remind me of how awful my disease was. But for all those learned people, I AM LUCKY I AM LITTLE!"

Sunday, May 24, 2015

Khushi's dose of the day!! Starstruck!

Khushi: Mummy can you teach me some song, which Annushka has sung.
Mummy: Annushka? Where did you see her? You have never seen her movie ever!
Khushi: I saw her in India's Got Talent.
Mummy: Oh good. Did you like her?
Khushi: Yes Mum, I want to learn to sing her songs and dance like she does!

Khushi is star struck with Annushka. And I immediately went back in flashback. When I was small, not 6 but may be 12-13, I was starstruck with Madhuri Dixit. Her smile, her dance just caught my mind. I wanted to dance like her, dress like her. I went to the extent of buying the dress she wore in Pehla Pehla pyaar hai and the jewellery she wore. And after I saw her in DIL TO PAGAL HAI, I was totally bowled over by her passionate dancing. Even today, she is like an idol for me. When she dances, the world stops for me.
And seeing my daughter going through that stage makes me nostalgic. I have to see so many phases of her life through which my journey of life has been. I hope, like my journey has always been wonderful and exciting, she also explores her world with the same positivity and good experiences.

Sunday, April 5, 2015

The new ME

Change is the only constant and each one of us have experienced changes all our life. 
When I was younger, I always thought I will never change. The circumstances might change, but I will never change. But my graph of changes have been phenomenal. And I am fortunate that those changes in me are mostly positive and progressive.
I agree that the changes are mostly circumstantial and unless life puts you in those circumstances, you do not get a chance to change. Though I always believe that the basics in you never change. And believe me, your basics are your best friends, if you stick to them, you will never fall into deep trouble. And even if you do, you will know a way to get out of it.
So, you might be thinking,  why all of a sudden this topic? The reason to this is, off late I have been hearing this quite a lot. "YOU HAVE CHANGED!!". And fortunately, its been said in a positive stroke.
First (in no particular order) instance would be an engineering friend, who has spent 4 years of the college life with me. We were speaking after more than 9 years after college, we were classmates but not close friends. She told me, "I am discovering  you through your blogs. I don't know where was this Dipti in college."
My blog writing was an unplanned change in my life. But when I started writing it, little did  I know that I am going to unfold so many intimate chapters of my life. Right from my VERY strong views on marriage to the very personal feelings of motherhood. I have opened myself to the world, a lot through this wonderful blog. 
But I was always a thinker and could express with words better. My close friends know that through my mails. Those 16 pages mails and those creative  emails+letters I sent to my friends then were my first expression in words. And now the only thing changed is, I can show it to a larger audience. So the CHANGE is not in my expression, but in my reach. Thanks to social media for this.
Second instance would be one colleague complementing me on how ambitious I am. And how I know the exact path I want to take towards attaining my goals in my career path. 
Frankly, I dedicate this change in me to my circumstances. When I was studying, I was very ambitious. But with time, I realized my career might be dependent not on me but on the circumstances I am in. My husband, his career path, my kids, my support system, my work environment, the people  around me and a lot other factors. So I had for 7 years taken things as they come, without getting possessive about my career or being very ambitious about it. For all these years, my career took a back seat for me. I wanted to hit that equilibrium in work and family life, so always put my family first. But circumstances changed and the career which I had put on back seat was brought on 5th gear. (That will constitute another blog if I start describing how, so would limit here). The opportunities which opened up in front of me were overwhelming for me. I was wondering, why it took me so long to bring it on front seat? And now when I have brought it on front, the whole universe conspires to help me to fly. I have got a lot of appreciation, avenues and credit in just 4 months of my newly found status.
I still believe that I am the most fortunate one and not the most talented one to be in my shoes. Changes are inevitable, but I hope, it always changes for good.
Third is a very funny one. But a very obvious one too. And no prizes to guess, its for my looks. Some school/college friends have even gone ahead and declared I look better than what I used to look in college. 
School days I agree, I was too intense about myself. I with my thick glasses behind that intense look could have never looked liberated. I wish we had been taught in school how to liberate yourself and be happy! Glad my kids are learning it in their school. Poems like "I AM SPECIAL" and "ITS A WONDERFUL WORLD" reassures me that they know to focus their happiness on themselves and not things/people around them.
But I don't agree that I looked any lesser than now in my college days. Agreed I didn't wear hip dresses and wore apt makeup those days. I wasn't conditioned to be presentable to that extent that time. But then also , I had my days of killer looks :D. Haha, but not days of smart phones and social media. Where I could click a selfie and post it on FB. And more so, nobody would have imagined a day will come when you would click for putting it on a WALL of a website :), those days were more private and secretive, now i realize.
And for the post marriage years. Of course, all these years, I was busy nurturing my in laws and kids. The first priority was not to take care of myself, but to nurture them. The world is very cruel on a working,hands on mother. Little do people know a life of a working-hands on mother. Its not easy to work 8 hrs(discounting the hours we spend in IT for those who do not know what is it to work in an IT industry) 5 days a week, then spend 4 hours quality time with the kids and remaining hours for household things and sleep.  Then weekend taking care of groceries, socializing and also entertainment. There were times when after the 5 days of work, the remaining weekend was spent in hospital rooms taking care of in laws and kids at different times. Crap aside, but speaking of the time when your kids are less than 3 years, you are completely negligent about yourself and all your senses are focused on your kids. 
I still remember a wedding after 2 months of my delivery when none of my close relatives refrained from commenting about how huge I have become. I wish I was as liberated as Aishwarya then to reply how I am just BEING A MOMMY! Love you Aishwarya for that!!
Uff, that's what I don't like about my writing. I get too pained by memories.
Pardon me for that. So back to track...
So now, when my both kids are 3 + years, I have a breather. Though I would confess, I could have done this a year back as well, but better late than never. So I started my workouts -power yoga, balance diet and more importantly to cut down on sugar and chocolates(my addiction). I took one full year to make myself tough and dedicate a fraction of time for my own self. Believe me its just 1 hour a day, but we mommies/wives cannot get it from our daily schedule. We are busy thinking about our husband's comfort and kids well being. We forget the most important person in our lives. I had a lot of repulsion from all sides. That one hour was hindering my daughters school bus timing, when she wanted me to drop her everyday. That one hour was the time I spoke to my husband while he traveled to work. That one hour seemed to be the most important time of the day. Irony is, it would be true for any hour of the day. 
But thanks to my determination to get my sanity back and get fit both mentally and physically. Finally pushed myself to get that one hour for myself. And the results are amazing. I have not lost much weight, but I have toned up. I am mentally much more clearer and confident. I am not a fitness freak, but fitness brings alot of meaning in my life now. I love to sweat and its my lifestyle now. 
And this I credit to two things, my drive to lead a healthier life and my friends. They have been motivating, scolding, inspiring and guiding me all through the process. DILLI BAHOT DOOR HAI, but at least I have boarded the flight :)
This was all about the positive changes in me which others noticed and have told me on my face. But its always the toughest to point out negative changes time and circumstances have brought in you. And nobody tells you this unless they become unbearable. Friends don't tell you because they accept you with your flaws and the world would never want to be on the wrong side of your good books. Not at least MY other side of good books, knowing the typical LEO I am. ;)
So the list might be longer than this, but I would equate it with the goods I have mentioned, so will list down only three.
The change what life has brought in me majorly is the art of detachment. I get amazed as to how I can let go of everything close to me. I no longer feel the need to hold on to something. I enjoy till it lasts and then gracefully bid it goodbye. However much it might sound divine, I miss the passion you have when you don't want to let go of something very badly. If I lose one opportunity in life, I am not disappointed as I take it as though it wasn't meant for me. I wont say i am not competitive anymore but I think I have started living more for today than for past and future!
Few years back, I would make it a matter of life and death if a close friend even ignores me! My attachment is still genuine but I don't hold on to people anymore. 
Secondly, I have also started being selfish. I put my happiness before others. Few years back, it was so difficult for me to say a NO to anybody for anything! Because I thought, it was my duty to put others happiness before myself. Blame it to my upbringing where my mother has always tortured herself to keep others happy! 
Thank God, I have not gone on her on this! 
I am nice to people generally, but the moment they enter my personal space or try to play games with me, I don't hesitate to confront them. I am not here to please anyone and this is what makes me very selfish. I have missed out on so many things I love to do because I was busy pleasing others with their goals and happiness. Now, I put my things in the to-do list on priority. And believe me, it gives me immense happiness and i feel so much more liberated now.The burden of thinking about others happiness bogs u down all the time. 
And think, do you do anything for others happiness or for yourself? You meet someone because you feel happy meeting him/her. You gift someone because the smile makes you happy. You take care of your kids n family because their well being it utmost important to you! When everything is about you, why the facade of sacrifice and selflessness? 
Now to the final change I think I hate the most. I have become politically very correct these days. The impulsive, love blind, immature girl who told spade a spade has got lost somewhere. Love blind when it came up to stand for a friend. When its about someone from my loved ones, I never used my mind. I could never see the wrong with my people. 
Impulsive because I never thought twice before speaking my mind however controversial it was. I had offended a lot of people in the past because Of my policy of speaking my mind.
 Immature, yes! Haha. We all go through the curve of learning when you start using your mind and heart together and think logically. 
I think this change is majorly credited to my corporate work life. I am sure you all trust me on the fact that managing people is the toughest job on earth. And it starts from managing your maid to managing your subordinates at work. So you cannot be politically wrong with them. If you have to work as a team, you have to think before you point out mistakes or react on smaller things. I still convey my views and call a spade a spade, but in a more subtle and professional way! 
So this was my long journey of changes in me. I am quite sure 10 years down the line, there will be many more drastic and visible changes in me. I don't try to plan or imagine the person I would be then. Its futile to do that! But one thing that I am sure of is that there will be few people in my life who will accept me with all those changes. :)
You can accept and reject the changes in your life. I have embraced change always for the very reason that if the change is organic, it will always help me grow. 
There is no certainty about how others look at you. That will change without even you changing. So, don't change for others, change for your own good!

Tuesday, March 10, 2015

High on life

Call it mid-life crisis or nirvana. I have suddenly realized I have not done so many things (good and bad) yet in my life. I am 33 years and yet the list is so long. When am I going to tick all the items in the list? What if I don’t? How am I going to justify God about my worthiness of another reincarnation if I cannot prove it in this? So ready for another adventure, I decided to try out BHANG on this holi.
All my holi celebrations have been crazy fun till now. Music- water-colors all make me very high on life and I don’t remember anything close to the kind of fun I have on Holi. So to go a notch higher, we opted for the real thing on HOLI. When I had it with Thandai, I wasn’t sure what to expect? I was informed it hits in 1 or 2 hours. So I waited. Played for some time with the kids and hubby and then continued dancing with my friends. I kept dancing for 2 hours without feeling a single bone paining. I was quite impressed with myself and thought my 1 year of hard work paid off. My workouts are making me a strong person indeed. But little did I know that in sometime not only would my physical pain but also all my worldly pains are going to vanish.
The people near me suddenly started looking very happy to me. I couldn't complete my dance steps but I was subconsciously dancing on each beat. I started losing touch with the present. I can see everything moving very slow. It was like a slow motion movie is playing around me. I can actually hear people talk in animated slow gestures. It was very funny. I spoke to few friends and the very next moment I thought I might have imagined speaking to them. I could hear me talking to myself. "Dipti..what's happening? What is going on? Are you drunk? Or you are generally happy ?"
I didn’t want the music to be over. I didn't want to stop dancing. And on the contrary I felt as if I am dancing from ages. Time refused to pass. Everything in front of me seemed to be in a telescopic view. Every time I became aware of my present, I am still dancing to the same song. I felt very happy. Nothing was in my mind. I was in the present. I was with myself. I loved being aware of my existence. My hand, feet moving very subconsciously to the music and my mind acting as an audience to this. I was watching them as if they didn’t belong to me. When the music stopped. I thought there is vacuum around me.
I couldn’t think of the next correct thing to do. I knew I am safe with my friends around me and in my own society. But there was no fear anyways. I just followed my friends as they dropped me home. It was like one drunkard supporting the other. :P.
My kids watched their cartoons in the living room. I gave them a warm smile and ran inside my room before they figured out, mom has lost all her senses. It took me 10 minutes to bathe, but it felt like I am never going to finish it. My hand coordination had gone bonkers. I was hungry and crazy at the same time. I gathered courage and ate some food.
I was done with my eventful afternoon, but I didn’t want to sleep. I wanted to enjoy the feeling a little more. I wanted to enjoy that zombie state as long as I could. I was very tempted to go around and act a little more crazy for a little more time. But soon the responsible, dutiful mother/wife/woman took over me and I slipped myself to sleep.
After I got up, the dreamworld had disappeared. The loud voice of TV, started hurting my ears again. The petty things my kids didn’t obey was again the purpose of my life. I was worried about the holi color on my face. Monday blues started setting in even before the day was over.
Koi mujhe bataye yeh duniya hai to duniya kyun hai?

Yeh aisi hai to aisi kyun hai? 

Thursday, January 22, 2015

Avani's dose of the day!! Dessert and Desert

Papa was showing some exotic location pictures to both the kids. There was a picture of shark feeding, beaches and deserts.

Avani: (looking at the sand picture) Papa see, its a beach!
Papa : No darling, its a desert!
Avani : Papa, mujhe dessert khana hai!!

We all looked baffled for a minute. Then realised, a 3 yr old's innocent mind, knows to associate the word DESERT with only the sweet yummy edibles.  And the sand with beaches which she has been so many times.
Why can't we have different names/pronunciations for different things?? #ENGLISH IS A FUNNY LANGUAGE

Tuesday, January 6, 2015

Khushi's dose of the day!! End of world

The current theme for the month in Khushi's school is "PROTECT OUR PLANET". In this theme, they are taught a lot about planting trees, recycling, rain water harvesting and other useful concepts. Along with that, they are also told how deforestation, pollution etc are causing global warming.
Being a very imaginative child, Khushi has started imagining the possibilities of global warming etc.

Khushi : (All of a sudden comes and cuddles) Mommy, I feel very scared!!
Mommy : (Surprised) What happened beta?
Khushi : Mummy, you know there is a hole in the ozone layer near Antartica and soon the whole water is going to spill over all the land on earth.
We are all going to drown in water and die!! I dont want to die!!
Mommy : (How do I tackle this question??) Khushi, we are not going to die! Dont worry! Nothing is gonna happen. These are all theories. You need to take care of earth, dont waste water, dont pollute atmosphere and everything is gonna be fine. Dont worry darling. Kuch nahi hoga!! And Mummy, Daddy are with you. So why are you scared?
Khushi : Ok Mommy! ( Not very convinced with the answer though)
Khushi : Mummy, I am going to hire a scientist. And ask them to make magnetic shoes for me
Mommy : Magnetic shoes? For what?
Khushi : Mommy magnetic shoes will save us from earthquakes. And I will also ask the scientist to make rocket ship for us.
Mommy : Now why this rocket ship and what will the rocket ship do?
Khushi : Mummaa,, rocket ship will take us to Mars/Moon when the flood comes. When the world is going to end, we can use it to save ourself. We will come back once the water goes down
Mommy : Yes beta, why not!

I donno whether to be happy about the brilliant imagination she has or to be worried about the extrapolation she makes about things.I wonder if she has seen "2012 End of world" movie or its her own imagination about a rocket ship to save people when the water spills on the whole earth! If I would have not seen that movie, I would have never thought that we can have such options during a total disaster. Kids these days have so much exposure and so much brains to imagine such novel things. Hats off to the new generation

Khushi's dose of the day!! Shape of eyes

Khushi : Mummy, Why we have this shape eyes?
Mummy : What do you mean?
Khushi : We should have straight shape eyes!
Mummy : (Assumes, Khushi means how she draw eyes of people in her paintings) Our eyes are not straight. We draw it straight so that its easy for you to draw it in your paintings
Khushi : Mummy, No. See how Kareena Kapoor's eyes are straight in shape! We should have eyes like her. See in the ads, you can see how straight her eyes are!! 

Well, I never thought my 5 year old can actually notice the physical features of people so minutely. I mean comparing and noticing people around us is common. But actually figuring out the physical features of an actress is again very surprising for me.
Tomorrow, I hope she doesnt come and tell me to have a size zero figure like her!! Keeping fingers crossed!! :D